Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Honestly

When you don't feel like you can be completely honest on your own blog it doesn't make you want to post stuff much.

You can't trust the internet to keep its mouth shut, and i never know when one of my family members might decide to snoop in here and see what i've been saying. My old blog was great i kept it a secret for ages and i could say whatever i wanted without worrying who might be reading it.

These days though you can't trust anything really. My generation is Gen Z but I think we need a name change.

We should be called the Blue Generation because so many of my peers have fallen into the dark hole of Depression.

I myself have been there this past year and I have no wish to go there again although i feel it is bound to happen at some point.

I bore the burden of it alone for awhile and eventually turned to self harm in order to feel something.. anything. I was not alone in this for I have found that a extraordinary numbers of my peers had done this also.. in their own ways.

One day I will put all my thoughts together instead of jumbling them and turn it into an autobiography that I want to title My life as a closeted Aspie. There will be so much more then my Aspergers discussed in those pages though and perhaps it will help people to see the depth to which someone with Aspergers can feel.

It's a myth that we don't feel we most definitely do, sometimes more deeply then others, we just aren't as good as sharing it in a expected way. We do express ourselves just not how you might expect. Our cries are usually dismissed because they might occur during our meltdowns or we might not outwardly express them at all.

We are people the same as the rest of you, and as diverse as the rest of you. We are tall, short, fat, skinny, old, young.

We are every race and sexuality that you are and we are so much more common then you would think. I have met many like me at various places on the line of the Autism Spectrum. Some people you would never know if they didn't tell you, others its plain even to someone like me.

We want the same things as you, the way we go about achieving them might just be a little different and different is fine as long as we get where we want to go.