Its harder then you think

Have you ever had to act like someone completely different in order to be accepted by society?

Have you ever felt the consquences of mistakes you didn't know you were making?

Every day i have to clean up after my own mistakes. I have to put clothes on the right way after i put them on wrong.

I have to avoid shoelaces at all costs or spend ten minutes bright red in the face as i try to do them up. Until someone else offers to do it and i watch and think "how do you do that?"

I have to feel like a child and an adult at the same time and remind myself for the millionth time not to pull my hair.

I put my hand down to stop myself touching my face but then it flys back up like it has a mind of its own.

I have to feel like i never get to say anything that i'm thinking even though I can't stop talking.

I have to walk through life trying so hard to give off an image of a normal person, and then whenever i think i've done it, find out that they actually could tell. They just didn't want to say anything.

I wander around the house trying to remember all the jobs and all the things i can do to help... and always forgetting the most important ones.

I have to be frustrated because i'm nearly 20 and i can't walk to the local shops because i'm scared of getting lost.

I have to remember all the times in school where things didn't go right and it wasn't my fault cause no one knew what was wrong with me.

I remember all the people who didn't care that i was weird and liked me anyway. I have to remember cause there weren't many of them but they were very special.

I have to hope that things won't be so confusing and hard one day, because people will understand.

I hope i can help you understand.