When I was young I used to get quite anxious. Being the early 2000s nothing was really done about it but my Mum hated it when I got scared so I tended to run and hide with Dad. Or keep it to myself.
I do meditation now to try and keep a handle on it but whenever something happens I never seem to be able to not panic. I'd like to, but I can't do it.
Its not my fault, I know its not. Yet I always feel like it is and it can be embarrasing especially in public. People don't really understand why you choose to exclude yourself from parties or social gatherings.
I'd definetly rather stay at home than explain to someone that I don't just 'not like' crowded places. That it makes me feel like i can't breathe. Then i'd just get weird looks and probably try and leave so i could escape.
I guess i'm not the going out type which would be fine if everyone else my age was sitting at home writing a novel as well. Except that they aren't.
If they are, they are probably better than me and already published anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment