I used to think i could tell when things were starting to slide again. But i didn't see this low coming. It just slapped me in the face with all of my self doubts.
I suppose it is a part of depression, that it just comes when it wants to and you don't even have to be doing anything.
I can't even look at my writing, because i just hate every sentence if i do. All the work that went into those stories feels like a waste of time.
I've been blasting songs that have gotten me through hard times before. Going on walks until my legs ache. Trying everything to keep it away.
I've had so many oppurtunities where i could have said that i needed help. Or that i wasn't doing so well. I could reach out but i...
I feel like people either would think i'm just complaining or not care at all.
Where are my friends during all this you may ask? The answer is Working. Busy. Studying. Whatever.
I'm sure they wouldn't enjoy hanging out with me anyway. They all know, the few real friends i do have that things have been hard lately for me.
Its not their fault, they have lives to live and just don't have time for me.
I'll just drag myself through as much routine as i can. Try and make life easier for everyone else. I don't want to think so i'll just do chores so that i can't.
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