Why Blog?

Hey guys, so today I thought I would answer a question that many people probably wonder when they think about Bloggers. Why would I, a 19yr old with Aspergers. Want to talk to random strangers about my life? Why would I want that to be out there for anyone to see?

For me. I've always loved to write, I find it very soothing during stressful times and it gives me a way to get all the thoughts I'm having out of my head. I also as I said before have Aspergers Syndrome and I don't get to talk to people very much.

I'm very isolated by choice most of the time because I just can't deal with people. I've been a loner all my life and that tendency to distance myself from people still holds true today. I also hope that maybe by Blogging about my Aspergers I can help people to understand why its hard to be high functioning.

Because when you look at me, you can't see that I'm Autistic. You can't see how hard life is for me and because you can't see it. You don't know so much that you would know if it was more visible. I look like a very short but otherwise ordinary young person, except that I'm not.

I hope that if there are other young people out there with Aspergers that my blog even though half the time its filled with rambling. Will help them feel like they aren't alone. Because thats what everyone wants you know? To feel like they have a place and to feel understood.

I only have one time you know where I feel those things and I've talked before about how performing feels to me. If my Blog can give someone else that feeling. Then I know that what I'm doing isn't a pile of suck.

Anyway I hope your all having a good weekend. Happy Pokemon Day to all you Nerds!

Have a good one.

Writers block

Writers block is my very unwelcome companion. Its like that annoying relative thats pops in to 'say hi' and ends up staying at your house for like four hours.

It is absolutely the most frustrating part of writing. At least for me. Seriously as if writing a story wasn't hard enough you have to cut me off from my flow of ideas.

It can last for a very long time as well. I once had it for a solid two months. Thats two months of staring at a page and not being able to form a coheret thought.

It sucks, but when it lifts its the most amazing feeling. A sudden rush of ideas. To point that your fingers struggle to keep up with your brain.

If they ever figure out a good reason why its a thing then cool. If not i'll continue to passionately hate it. I'm cool either way really.

Funny things about my Ragdoll

My Ragdoll cat Harley Davidson is definetly a cat with a big personality. So i decided today to make a list of the things I think are funny about my boy.

1. He is so so loud!

Harley doesn't know what the word 'quiet' means. Even steriotypically Ragdolls are a quiet breed Harley did not get the memo. He is always chatting to me.

He 'brrps' when he jumps on my bed and he 'mrows' when he demands to be fed. If i'm in the shower and don't leave the door open so he can come watch he 'MAOWS' until i let him in.

All day every day Harley makes noise. Even the people who works at the Kennel he stays at when i go away said he 'talks' to them alot.

2. He likes Baths.

Harley actually doesn't mind having a bath. Ragdolls are known for their interest in water. Harley displays this by running to watch me have a shower every day and actually tolerating a bath when he needs one.

3. Hes changing colour!

Harley is brown on top of his head and white underneath. But the brown has gotten lighter since he was a kitten and his ears are striped where the fur is still changing colour.

Ragdolls take up to four years to fully mature so in a year or two who knows what Harley will look like. In the meantime hes my chocolate coloured kitty.

4. He sucks and kneads.

Harley has a cat bed that hes had since he was a kitten. Before he goes to sleep in it he grabs it between his teeth, kneads and purrs up a storm.

This behaviour is usually seen in kitties who were taken to early from their mothers. Harley was tweleve weeks when we got him so the origin of this behaviour is a mystery to us.

It is funny though to see this big adult sized Ragdoll sucking on his bed with his eyes closed.

5. Hes nocturnal

This a cat thing no matter what the breed but Harley sleeps all day and then the moment i go to bed hes awake.

He used to sleep in my room but after he kept waking me up to play he's been moved to the laundry where he can play without waking anyone up.

If he hears someone get up to go to the loo he starts "MAOWing" to tell them that he is not happy about being in the laundry and demands freedom.

This stops after said person goes back to bed.

So there you have it. Harley is a big cat with a big personality! Also hes weird. But they say pets are like their owners.

Serious Talk

Hey guys. Today I want to talk about emotional baggage. Everyone carries things with them. Everyone has problems, everyone. Thats just the sad way that the world works.

Some people are pretty good with theirs, like you know that friend that always smiling and seems like they have everything under control. You know who I'm talking about.

Anyway not everyone is that person. I'm not. I mean I'm a Nineteen year old with Depression and Autism. I'm Asexual, I'm short. I'm unpopular and I have parents who are divorced. That is my baggage.

Thats what I carry around with me every day, no matter where i go or what i do all of that is there and a lot of it I can't change.

So you find a way to make it feel lighter. Everyone has different ways, me I like to write and I like to perform. Thats how I keep my baggage under control.

That isn't going to work all the time and some people choose ways of lightening the load that aren't good for them or good for the people around them.

So all I really wanted to say is that if your baggage is weighing you down or things are tough for you right now. Find a way to lighten it. That doesn't hurt you or anyone else. It might help you to keep going. Because you have to. It's either that or give up and.... nobody should choose that path.

The day of love

Happy Valentines day! I am single let it mingle so the day is a little bittersweet for me but for those of you who do have someone special to spend it with I hope its an enjoyable day.

Also nine months from now there will be a lot of babies born. Valentines babies are a thing. I was a halloween baby. You can count back nine months from your birthday then pick a holiday.

Its so weird though to know what month you were concieved in and you don't even want to think about your parents doing that at all ever so yeh.

I went to the circus yesterday and i always worry about the performers because obviously their safety is important and i'm always worried they will hurt themselves.

I'm like please don't hurt yourself trying to entertain me like i'm not worth that much. It was really good though i super duper enjoyed it.

I'm going to see Deadpool tomorrow and oh my taters I can not wait! I have been waiting for so long and now the wait is nearly over!

Enjoy your week people. Talk to your faces later.

Its getting hot in here...

It is so hot, Perth is generally cold and wet for the majority of the year but right we are literally boiling.

Seriously four consecutive days above 40Cs? Thats like ridiculous! I used to live in the desert and let me tell you even we didn't burn for this many days in a row!

I think it might be hot enough to cook an egg on the driveway. I don't really like egg that much though so you won't catch me trying it.

I hope you guys are lucky enough to live on the other side of the world where its nice and not a billion degrees right now!

I'm going to go put some ice cubes in the cats water bowl. Have a good week Internet.

Not a good week

So alot has happened this week. I admitted to my mum that i have depression and that i need help. I was so worried that she would be upset but she wasn't.

I started on some antidepressants from the doctors but the side effects put me in bed for two days so i had to come off them. I'm half the size of a normal person so even though it was a small dose it really hit me.

I am so tired and i don't want to go out of the house because my skin is a mess.

FML.