Two posts in one day

I guess i'm in the blogging mood today, two posts in one day must be some kind of record for me.

I don't really know whats going on in my head at the moment, but things aren't 100% up there. My "dementor" is starting to make itself more present.

Its a good representation actually something big and dark that sucks all the happiness out of my head. I can be anywhere doing anything but i don't feel like i'm there. I feel disconnected from everything.

I should be feeling something, i'm laughing and talking, but there's no real emotion there except maybe frustration. I felt like this last year when i was having a hard time with things.

I thought i was over all that, but i guess i couldn't keep the light.

I know my family thinks that Markiplier is just a gamer, that i only watch him for the gaming. That might be how it started out but its more then that now.

When i watch his videos i feel, when i laugh its real not pretend. His video blogs inspire me, when he talks in some of his earlier videos about depression i feel like something clicks. Its almost as if he's talking to me.

He gives me hope, he makes me truly happy for a little while, and i can't thank him enough for it. Truly, without Markiplier i don't know how i would manage. I mean i'm sure i would but it would be much harder.